To baby or not to baby?

So here is the thing. I don’t want children.

I’m not saying that I will never want children but right now I am absolutely fine doing my own thing.

I am excited for the future with Martyn, I am happy to drop everything for a weekend away. I am happy to be able to work late without wondering who is going to pick the kids up from the child minder. I am equally happy to be able to drink a whole bottle of wine a night without the responsibility of looking after someone.

That doesn’t mean I don’t like kids. I absolutely love children.

My friends daughter is quite possibly the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. And I know that she wouldn’t change her lifestyle for the world but she is not me and that’s ok.

I know that she feels a love that I have never experienced, and that love is something that I may never experience. It’s not a given.

I have wrote this to remind women that we are not baby making machines and if you don’t have that desire to have a child then you don’t HAVE to.

We live in a world where it is the norm, to meet someone, get married, have kids. I can remember girls in my year having that pang for a child when they were 16, when all they wanted was to be a mum.

I took child development and it terrified me. Seriously if anyone else took child development and became a teenage mother then you went to the wrong school. I remember watching a woman give birth to what can only be described as a baby hippo, and from that moment I vowed to treat down there like a temple.

And so, because of that, I am 25 and I have never had that overwhelming desire to be a mum.

Sometimes I get a little bit broody, but only in the same sense that when I’m online shopping I want the £150 boots I saw last week. I imagine having the baby and picking a name, the same way I imagine wearing those tan leather boots, with a pair of dark blue skinny jeans and a cream coloured top, and then reality hits!

Babies mean your life is not your own anymore, just like those boots would mean I had no food and petrol for the rest of the month.

Its an impulse feeling, that has been planted in us from TV shows, and films, that programme people into thinking you absolutely have to have children.

But you don’t.

And if you don’t want children that is absolutely fine. You do you! If you get more excited over a £2500 holiday to the Bahamas than saving for a cot and a nursery and a pram then that is fine.

If having children is not your calling then that is ok by me.

Now I know after writing this I am probably going to eat my words and find out next year that I’m up the duff and do you know what? That will be fine too, because I’m not saying that I don’t ever want to have children, it’s just not something that I think about on a daily basis like other females.

Just because I don’t have that maternal instinct or that voice inside telling me my calling is to be a mum, doesn’t mean that if I am ever lucky enough to have the chance to have children I won’t be the best damn mum there is.

I’m just happy to take every day as it comes.

If you want TO BABY, there is a great website, run by some really lovely women and they literally have all the ins and outs!
Check them out here: ThinkBaby.org

Side note, I know a few people having a baby in the next few weeks and months and I’d just like to apologise in advance that I compared babies to leather boots. And I would also like those people to know that I will not confuse their babies with footwear.

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My name is Rochelle. I'm a twenty something journalist from the North. I love travelling, reading, writing and watching movies. Even though I love exploring, there is no place like home. I live with my little dog Henry. I have a wonderful family a great set of friends and an amazing boyfriend.

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