Sorry for the Silence

I’ve not written anything on here for a long time. I always thought that when something devastating happened in my life I would be inspired to pen to paper and create something deep and meaningful as a sort of memoir, but it turns out, I’m not that kind of person.

The past two months I’ve found out more about myself than I had done in two years. I always thought I was weak, emotional, someone you couldn’t rely on in a crisis but it turns out I’m just the opposite.

I am strong, I can put on a brave face, and I call rally the troops if needed and to be honest the biggest thing I’ve learnt is how much I underestimate myself.

This time four years ago, I started a job where no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t reach the next level. I couldn’t get a promotion. I couldn’t blag an interview and I saw myself living a life in a job I didn’t particularly like for the rest of my life. The thought terrified me and I knew I had to do something.

I didn’t realise it then, but that thought was the catalyst for every moment in my life since. Every decision I’ve made, whether it be work, home, relationships I’ve had my future in mind.

Then a decision was taken out of my control and although my immediate reaction was panic, it soon subsided, and I thought, yet again, how I can come back from this? How can I turn this moment into a pivotal point in my life? How can I look back in four more years and think “Well done for doing that because now I’m here.”

So if something devastating happens, a relationship break up, getting fired, a fall out with a friend, think about how you handle this because you never know what good can come out of a rubbish situation.

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